But as for me, I still remember how it was before, and I am holding back the tears no more - I love you.

This song has nothing to do with what I'm feeling - I just happen to think it's incredibly beautiful and sad. I love it.

"Here Today," Paul McCartney

J and I went to the CanCan the other night. I thought I would want to write about it, but I don't. It was really nice. I guess that sums it up. Nothing incredible or spectacular; just a really nice evening.

In other news, I get painfully nervous when I have to play the piano in front of people. I guess that's how it is at first with anything. If you continue to get enough positive feedback and you perform enough times, it won't be as bad anymore. I can't just forget about the mistakes on the piano like I can on the horn, though. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe it's because I already feel as though it is pretentious for me to attempt the piano. I'm not particularly good at it, and I am afraid people will think that I think I'm good at it.

Does that make sense?

Either way, it makes me more nervous and I always end up sounding so terrible when I attempt to play. Trust me, I attempted it today and it was a mess.

I can't wait for the summer again. I feel frozen all the time, especially mentally. Finding the motivation to go outside for anything at all is nearly impossible these days. I am a creature of comfort and I thrive on warmth and softness. Nothing makes me sadder than to be cold and uncomfortable.

Come to think of it, it might be an obsession. I also enjoy clothes and I find little motivation to dress nicely during the winter, as well. I just want to stay in bed as long as possible and put on whatever I see first.

Departmentals are in 18 minutes. This was a horrible release of thought.

I apologize for the recklessness with which I wrote this.

END.